Sinking: A Tribute (Part 2)

Woke up very early. Thursday, 11th December 2008. Today was the deadline to finish that work, you know, the one I was doing for my aunt. What is that law that makes the ink catridge get finished the time you want to beat a deadline? Or power to go off, when you need to do some work? That is the law that was in effect that morning.

I had a terrible morning that day. The pressure was intense to beat the deadline yet all forces were consipiring against me. Around 11am my phone rang. It was my brother’s calling. My heart skipped a beat. Ps. We still hadn’t talked since we fought. So, I held my breathe to listen to what he wanted to tell me. I was disappointed to hear it wasn’t him calling. It was my cousin-his bestfriend calling. What was more disappointing was the news he was bearing. My brother was very sick, they needed to go to hospital. I sat on the floor. Intuition was telling me that my brother was slowly losing the battle to Hodgkins Lymphoma. A type of cancer that my brother had fought with, for the past 5 years.

I finally finished my work and headed down to Strathmore University to drop off my aunt’s assignment. I got there around 3pm and I managed to deliver it on time. Yaay! My aunt and a friend of mine (who also doubles as a family friend) decided to be random, and they suggested that we do dinner. They were both going in for exams, so they requested me to wait for them then we would go for the said dinner at 7pm.

Because I wasn’t able to move around much, I waited in the car. Being a Thursday, my favourite show was on. Neo Soul Thursday on your best mix of music 98.4 Capital FM. Shanice and Marcus were the hosts then.So I sat and listened to all these nice soothing soulful jams. Around 5.30pm I called my cousin to find out how everything had gone at the hospital. Now I have to explain that with a long term illness like cancer, going to hospital is almost the order of the day.

My cousin informed me that they had left hospital and had gone to my Dad’s place upon my brother’s request. That sounded okay. So I continued listening to the music and it was lovely, I sang along waiting for time to pass. I even started the car, moved it around then returned it to the place it was initially packed. No, I still haven’t gotten my DL. πŸ™‚

Finally! It was 7 o’clock. My friend was first to finish his exams. So he came and we started waiting for my aunt, so that we could go for dinner. Just a few minutes after he joined me, my phone rang. It was my Dad. His voice was abnormally calm but sombre. He informed me that they were going back to the hospital again, that my brother had become worse. I informed my Dad that I would join them in a jiffy.

I quickly updated my friend and we both agreed not to tell my aunt what was up because she would panic. Shortly afterwards, my aunt joined us and we all headed to MP Shah Hospital. When we were almost getting there, we finally brought my aunt up to speed with the going ons of that evening.

We finally arrived at the Emergency Room of MP Shah hospital and found my Dad and cousin waiting for the doctors to attend to my brother. All I wanted to do at the instance (more than anything else in the world) was to talk to my brother and tell him I was sorry. And God gave me that chance. I will be eternally greatful for this. We hugged each other and cried together for long. The only problem was my brother couldn’t quite talk. He could no longer breathe on his own-the doctors informed us, they had to put him on a life support machine. This is because the cancer had moved to his lungs.

I should pause and ask my sister where she was that night. Because I can’t remember. My brother kept miming for me not to cry, he whispered that he loved me and he let me know that our little fight didn’t change his love for me. We were all asked to step out and wait for my brother to be wheeled to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). It took long. I mean a hundred years long. We were all anxious. Every one kept asking me to stop crying. For someone that doesn’t drink a lot of water, I sure have a lot of tears. πŸ™‚

Finally, after a century, we were called in to see my brother and that is when I knew things were thick. He was unconscious, he had a hundred tubes running all over his face and worst of all, he looked lifeless. My heart didn’t break. It was SMASHED. My little baby brother was lying there in so much pain, and I couldn’t do nothing at all to save him. I CRIED. I am surprised I didn’t lose my sanity that night.

I could only cry so much, you know. I had to shut up. So we stepped out, and we were all talking about nothing, thinking that going home was not a very bad idea. By then, it was way past midnight. We were all standing at the parking lot, when someone ran out from the general direction of the ICU asking where “Dandara’s relatives” were (that was us!!!)? We knew it had happened. He had died.

We all ran back to the ICU. Kumbe the doctors wanted my Dad to sign some documents. Nkt! πŸ™‚ That was so scary. I walked back to my brother’s bed and kissed his forehead. Wished him a good night. Didn’t realize everyone was looking at me. Then we all went home.

It took me long to sleep that night, despite the fatigue. In the spirit of kujipa shughli, I decided to read people’s FB status(es). I went to Dandara’s FB page and to my dismay saw what my brother had posted on that *precise* day. At 2.46pm on 11th November 2008, my brother’s facebook status read: “sinking”…

Yes, I just said that!

  1. I’m glad you got a chance to make up with your brother. I have so much to say but no words..does that make sense?

    • nymmoh
    • December 11th, 2010

    heeh I need a moment, heavy

  2. *hugs*

  3. i cried, a little, when i read this, so sorry.

  4. “Sinking…” that’s tragic. I am so sorry.

  5. Sorry would not suffice……sending hugs your way.

  1. December 28th, 2010

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