I got down on one knee, and…

I don’t know about you, but I am one person that hates, detests, dreads, fears conflicts. Supremely. But I heard that every relationship whether parent-child, sibling-sibling, friend-friend, colleague-colleague, lover-lover has these. Conflicts come with a lot of baggage. The awful sunk feeling that sits in the pit of one’s stomach. The puffed pride that manifests itself everytime you think to apologise and make things right. Nothing makes bleurgh so bleurgh than a conflict. If you ask me, conflicts are things the devil invented.

Last year in this post I shared with you how I fell out with some people in my life. So, there was this very special lady in my life who was among those. We kosanad. There was no confrontation, I walked out very quietly. A day turned into a week and before I knew it we hadn’t spoken to each other in over a year. Now this lady was so close to my heart, she was like a mother. That plus she is a close relative.

There is not a day, (ok, I have lied) a week that went by without me thinking about her. She and I had something special. I had a strong conviction to make things right. But being the strong-willed (read: proud, stubborn and arrogant) person that I am, I didn’t see why I was the one to go to her and apologise. I am currently recovering from the infamous I-am-never-on-the-wrong syndrome. Aren’t we all? πŸ™‚

I really feel sorry for every Valentine’s Day hater out there. Cupid has been a wonderful friend to me for the past two years. At least since I decided to be in his good books. Here’s why. In 2010, he did something awfully nice to me on Val’s day and this year he did something nice as well. I digress? No I don’t. This is very related. It occured to me that this wonderful lady (no matter how strong her resolve to not talk to me would be) could not resist some love on Valentine’s day. So I searched vehemently for a wonderful gesture to extend her way and I settled on buying her a gift and having it delivered to her residence.

On Valentine’s day, it rained heavily and as fate would have it, my gift was not delivered on that day.God’s doing, because the ideal time to deliver that gift was actually the day after Valentine’s day. And it was delivered. It had completely slipped my mind that I had sent out that gift, and I was up and about my business when my phone rang. Can’t tell you how wonderful it was to talk to her again. She was beyond herself with excitement. Stoked. She loved the gift and freely expressed her love to me.

Are you like me? Is there a relationship in your life that is wrong that you need to right? Have you put it off for long and you know what you are supposed to do to restore it? Do you find the word sorry so hard to pronounce, you’d rather learn Greek? It is time to get down on one knee and ask for forgiveness.

Whichever way you look at it, I got down on one knee, and kissed ass. It takes a strong person to do that πŸ™‚

Yeah, I just said that!

p.s. apologies for the involuntary blogging hiatus…

p.p.s. I took two days off (re: why won’t this wretched cat stop chasing me), it helped some πŸ™‚

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  1. I also hate conflicts and kissing ass 😦 I have a couple of sorry’s to say, maybe not now but soon. Thanks for the post

    • Yer, you do that. In the fulness of time, you will find that you already righted that wrong πŸ™‚ Thanks as always for stopping by πŸ™‚

  2. Feel you on the hating conflict. I’ve come to realise in relationships it’s not who’s right and who’s wrong but what we can learn and how to make things better. Humble pie is not that sweet!

    • That is one area I admit here that I am struggling in. True, it’s never about who is wrong and who is right. Rather about … never mind that’s a blog for another day. Glad you stopped by.

  3. Hmm .. it’s a whole lot to chew off, this apology thing … may give it a go

    • Don’t get me wrong. It is very hard, but quite rewarding πŸ™‚ Go you!

  4. You’re a very honorable person to come out & say sorry even when it’s hard…I hate conflicts too; so much so, I’ll walk away & freeze you out or hold it inside just because i don’t want to make a scene or end up saying something that i won’t be able to take back. Either way, it festers & explodes eventually.So I’ve been working on the art of communicating & fighting right with loved ones. Not easy, but keeping cool has been kinda…cool.

    • Heey girlie. It stems from the knowledge that life is not ideal. One has to take the good with the bad. That knowledge atleast made me drop that old habit I had of holding things inside, and giving one the golden treatment-silence!

  5. I hate conflicts too, but right now I can’t think of any person I need to apologize to. Anyone?

    • You are one lucky girl. I still have one person to mend fences with. *sigh

    • nymmoh
    • March 10th, 2011

    Usually i am the person who puts the indifference coat on and moves on, i just decide to shut the offender off for always but this is normally after a great great wrong to me. But in the meantime i can’t think of no one i should make up with, so i think i have been a good girl! πŸ˜‰ You is a beautiful soul sugar. Definitely it was the right thing to do

    • Awww Nymmoh, you say the kindest things πŸ™‚ My Pastor likes saying, always keep advise information handy. You will need it in the future πŸ˜€

  6. I feel like I was talking to a shrink… We at times need to come off those high horses and embrace others with our unmasked true selves.

  7. I did apologise to two friends this week actually. It wasn’t easy but worth it. Honesty is great in relationships and if you can be honest about how someone has hurt you, then you can be honest about how you’ve hurt someone and need their forgiveness.
    It’s hard but there really is no other way..

    • I have never looked at it that way. Thanks for sharing your insight rockhead πŸ™‚

  8. Someone in my life passed on before I had the chance to make things right, I think its oh so important and so hard. But truly at times the ass you kiss may not taste that bad. These are some of those things deep down you know but never admit to their truthfulness in our situations…

    • Sorry that you didn’t get a chance to make things right with them. Life happened. Never beat yourself about it, learn from it, read: always make things right (even when you know you are not on the wrong) and you will be fine.

  9. Thought provoking. And I’ll definitely do something to make amends.

    • Tyra
    • April 5th, 2011

    Shekyn… a very nice read .no comment! he he he he

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